Key qualities
for accepting healthy critique and advices are reasonableness and humility. It is not always easy to find out
what people think. Another saying says: “Thoughts in man heart is deep water,
and reasonable man knows how to draw them out.” Reasonableness is
capability to see what is not visible on first sight. It requires discernment and
interest in others. Reasonableness also means being able to discern from
several options and to use the one that is most appropriate. In order to take
advice – reasonableness is of great importance.
Maybe even more
important from reasonableness for taking advice is quality of humility. To
be humble means to be ready to see other person as bigger than you. I think
that it doesn’t need to be additionally emphasized how much easier is to take
advice with such attitude. Still, if it is hard for us to consider person
bigger than we are because of innate selfishness, maybe we can consider as wiser
just some of their thoughts and actions; those that are contained in advice. In
any case, sincere humility will soften us for receiving advices.
What about
adviser? What she/he should take care of? For starters, one should avoid being person
who advises everybody all the time. Nobody of us is so wise that it could justifiably
do so. And we all know oh so well that nobody likes know-it-all persons. So,
advising should be only then when we are asked for advice, or e.g. when person
we would like to advise is in some kind of serious danger or similar.
(See part 4 here) (See part 2 here)
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