Hope is kind of anchor to the soul. Once your anchor is cut from your life’s boat – it gets very rough – floating and tossed by waves and winds. I have looked here and there in my life, and by far situations that brought me down to hopelessness where the hardest one.
Just recently I had really bad patch. I was numb after depression, and I don’t mean comfortably. I made slow progress back on track, when 3 months into hardship my very good friend killed himself. He hung himself.
Now, this was a character to know. He was so networked it was incredible. In my circles I could not say his name without eliciting some positive feelings and comments. He must have known 5k+ people I knew from same circles, and who knows how many others.
Strange part is, everybody loved him because regardless of timing or occasion he would stop by you, asked how you are and then really listen. He was a treasure in that way. He had so rare amicable approach to people, it was incredible. I always felt better after seeing and talking to him.
And yet, he had his hardships, troubles and depressions. I cannot help thinking if only he asked those 5000+ people I knew he know, 1-2% would be able to help him some way so he would get through his trouble. But I know deep down in my heart that was not an option. Simply because dark force of hopelessness is so strong that it skews your views so much so that only thing you see is reality so distorted that your best faculties are paralyzed and you cannot fight that arch enemy.
I am telling this because I have met hopelessness enough time in life that I know if I had something that seemed insurmountable, I would end up just like my friend – no doubt about it.
So here comes the good advice part:
Graphic says that “If opportunity doesn’t knock – Build the door”. I would like to translate that to hope. I strongly believe that hope is closely connected to our own action. I think without a doubt that with a glimmer of hope you, I and anybody else has a chance. Because the fact is: hope can be nurtured and can grow. And it has bias toward positive action. So, even small hope can be something you can start on and grow it real big to the point you have life worth living and much, much more.
And if we detect hopelessness – well build the door. Create knock-able action that will become your glimmer of hope. And then – you have something to build on!
So for end, let me paraphrase the graphics advice: If there is hopelessness, look around and spark a glimmer of hope to build on it.
Very nice.thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan
ReplyDeletePlease share with friend or love ones if you think it could help them.
And you don't need to lback here, you can copy/paste as
I am interested in helping people, not bringing my read count up.
Thank you. I work with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in Charlotte, NC. This is a great message which I intend to share on our FB page. It can apply to many people in many circumstances. For me, it is a good reminder, having been unemployed for 2 months now. Luckily, I do have good coping skills, but I think circumstances can really challenge one's resolve to remain positive and proactive. Thanks again.
DeleteThanks Mario... your message really hit home, and gave me.... well... hope! I am sorry about your friend; he sounded like such a good soul... Gotta start building that door!
ReplyDeleteThanks again!
Good luck with door building. When it opens, the view is great... :)
DeleteI think this is very useful advice for people that suffer from depression. Sometimes its impossible to find much hope, but a glimmer, that can be done. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mario... I needed that!
ReplyDeleteNever, never, never give up!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. It's inspirational and builds hope for others. Keep hope alive!
ReplyDeleteI very good article.. and adding my two cents. the best way to find hope is to go back to your religion....all religion in the worlds based on logics, and each religion provides optimistic, positive hopes.
ReplyDeleteWell, I am religious myself here, but I wouldn't write down others... In worse case scenario for them, this life is all there is for them, so I wish them to get best out of it (without preventing anybody else in same).
DeleteDear Mario:
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for sharing this story and the advice. I completely understand the devastating effects that "surviving" the loss of a loved one, or close colleague, can have on oneself. In the past few decades, important research has been conducted into this "surviving," to the point where those who fit this profile have been given the descriptor "survivors of suicide." It has been estimated that for every suicide, there are approximately six people directly affected. given the significant number of suicides annually in the U.S. alone -- more than 38,000 in 2010, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [citation from this organization: http://www.afsp.org/understanding-suicide/facts-and-figures] -- this act, borne out of hopelessness, leaves behind more than 225,000 survivors annually, again, just U.S. figures.
In addition, the effects of such a suicide strongly impact not only one's personal life, but his/her work and job performance as well -- sometimes for quite a long time following the suicide. It is my opinion that not enough research has been conducted in this particular area: i.e., identifying those who are survivors of suicide (in the workplace) and designing programs to help them both recover and regain a full measure of productivity.
As a "survivor" of two suicides, myself, I have indeed found that telling one's story is not only therapeutic, it also often provides help and support to others. To that end, I wrote two short stories to help me cope with, and heal from, these tragic deaths. The stories may be found here: www.sosstories.com.
I sincerely hope that this information helps you and others.
Tim
Thank you so much for comments, and sharing these stories. So true, Suicide survivor is such a good description - it relates to something like natural disaster survivor, or terrorist attack survivor to some extent I guess, but I cannot best relate it with war survivor since I am one.
DeleteThanks once again for food for thought and sharing the stories.
Beautiful reflection, you really offered a great piece of advice and I thank you for it.
ReplyDeleteIt all comes down to your individual/personal belief systems. What you really believe is true for you, but it does not mean it is true for anyone else but you. We all picked up some beliefs along the way and are changing them as we go on, and they define what we will experience. Change your beliefs and you will change your percepction of things happening around you. So choose your beliefs wisely and enjoy the show :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Mario, I can identify with what you are saying. I am very sorry about your friend. In a split second our lives can be shaken and changed forever. I will share this article and I trust that we all recognise that in addition to hope, faith and family are also important ingredients to having a life that is worth living.
ReplyDelete